7 Tips for Family members to Stop Enabling an Alcohol Addict

 

If your loved one is an alcohol addict, you would probably hear that you might be an enabler. 

Navjeevan is a rehab center, which not only helps alcoholics but also addresses the roles played by their loved ones in actually enabling that behavior. 

How would you know if you are being an enabler or whatever you are doing for them is normal helping? How can you stop if you are being an enabler?

First, let us understand the difference between enabling and helping.

Supporting or helping means assisting the addict with things that they are incapable of doing for themselves or doing things that could help them gain control of their life.

Enabling, on the other hand, helps the addict to deal with the negative consequences of their actions. Not dealing with these consequences puts the impression that their behavior is somewhere acceptable.  

Navjeevan is a Rehabilitation center (Nasha Mukti Kendra) in Patiala (Punjab) that helps addictive individuals overcome compulsive alcohol or drug abuse.

How to Stop Enabling an Alcoholic

At this point, you might realize that you have been enabling your loved one with alcoholism. 

It is true that we cannot change people but we can change our behaviors towards those people and stop being an enabler. 

Take note of the given points:

Stop Doing Anything That Allows the Alcoholic to Continue Their Current Lifestyle

Are you paying some of the bills that your alcoholic loved one would be paying if he hadn't lost his job due to drinking? Are you providing him/her food and shelter? 

If yes, you could be enabling. You are providing him/her with security that nothing would affect even if they chose not to work and spend their time being an alcoholic.

Stop Making Excuses for the Alcoholic

Have you ever lied and said, "Sorry, he can't come to work today, he's has picked up some kind of flu." When the truth was he was too hung-over to go to work. 

This conversation is enabling because it is allowing the alcoholic to escape the consequences of his actions. Losing his job might just be the right thing that needs to happen to him.

Do Not Take on Responsibilities That Rightfully Belong to the Alcoholic

Are you doing some chores around the house that the alcoholic used to do? Have you taken on their responsibilities as well? 

If you are doing things that the alcoholic would be doing if he/she was sober, in a way you are enabling them to avoid their responsibilities.

Do Not Give or Loan Money

If you are offering money to the alcoholic for any reason, you might as well go into the liquor store and buy his booze for him—that’s what you are doing by providing him money. 

No matter what they say they would do with the cash. This behavior is enabling in every sense.

Do Not Scold, Plead, or Argue With the Alcoholic

Scolding the alcoholic is another enabling behavior. 

This would simply create differences and the alcoholic would shun the doors of communication. 

Such a situation sometimes triggers the addictive behavior, as alcohol is the route to curing pain, anxiety, and aggression for an addict.

Never Drink With the Alcoholic

Family members often feel abandoned by the alcoholic because of their affair with alcohol. 

At times, they try to become a part of their world by drinking with them—thinking that this would initiate a conversation and finally the addict would try to open his/her feelings & maybe they would convince them to stop drinking. 

However, this rarely works. Their relationship with alcohol is very powerful.

Set Boundaries—Don’t Threat

"If you don't stop drinking, I will leave!" is a threat, but saying, "I will not have drinking in my home" is more like setting a boundary. 

You can't force someone to quit drinking, but you can surely decide what kind of behavior you will accept or not accept in your home.

Final Thoughts

Take some time and learn more about enabling and alcoholism with Navjeevan. It would help you feel empowered as you stop enabling your loved one while trying to help them. 

You do have the power to set boundaries so to put an impact on the alcoholic. Navjeevan offers therapies for substance and alcohol abuse. Families could collect information on the offered therapies at http://navjeevancentre.com/.